Ya know, I've never really thought of haiku that way but I see what you mean . The first two lines in my haiku can and do stand alone quite well.
A friend of mine was very sad from some family problems and she knew all of the reasoning for the whys but she was just sad and all she really wanted was permission to feel sad (she always feels she has to be strong for the rest of her family) not have the situation judged.
Maybe I could have expressed the haiku differently? I'll work on it.
Thank you for your feedback, I really need to hear that.
3 Comments:
too bad you couldn't just use the first two lines.
sometimes i think english haiku would do better with 12 syllable, rather than 17...
i've been reading some where they might be only 10 or 11...en toto.
they're very beautiful, and i think in better keeping with basho's discipline.
i think the ptb should re-examine criteria for us folks with the big languages.
Ya know, I've never really thought of haiku that way but I see what you mean . The first two lines in my haiku can and do stand alone quite well.
A friend of mine was very sad from some family problems and she knew all of the reasoning for the whys but she was just sad and all she really wanted was permission to feel sad (she always feels she has to be strong for the rest of her family) not have the situation judged.
Maybe I could have expressed the haiku differently? I'll work on it.
Thank you for your feedback, I really need to hear that.
S
Thank you Beckylou, I really appreciate it.
S
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